Blueberry Pancakes

Sitting, waiting, wishing for the day to draw nearer. The autumn leaves fall with brillant color and the river still carries its fish with a lighter flow of water. Three more seasons I await. Coffee and blueberry pancakes are comforting during these short days. I wake up everything morning with a rich smile and modivation to do well in my classes. Learning keeps me going and my mind fresh. Graduation awaits me as well in three seasons. My wedding also awaits near in these three seasons. White dress, white flats, diamond ring, and the most handsome groom. As those three seasons draw nearer my hair will grow much longer, my mind will become richer with knowledge, and my plan will be set. Patience is the key virtue. Tick tock tick tock.

Rainbow fish flow through my vains.

Certain tastes, smells, feelings, and places bring back certain memories. Good and bad. Sometimes its an emotion you can't describe. Sometimes i dive into the sea in my head and find that memory that makes it difficult to breathe in my sea. My favorite place to ponder is in the tree with the mattress on it with its canopy rose curtains. God has given me the grace not to forget but to heal. I am stiched back up and my blood is flowing smoothly. The fish are alive again and I can breathe.

You gave me reason to live.

You told me you would never be back, that this would be for the best. I ran far far away. I cut deeper. I cried longer. I ate less. Became weak. I am ashamed of it all. I broke hearts with my broken pieces. I made love to men I barely knew. It's like my heart of gold turned to dust in a matter of days. All my morals slipped through my finger tips. Then you came back. You wrote, " I am sorry for everything. I hope he treats you well". I was dumbfounded. Speechless more like. I then wrote you, called you, talked to you, met up with you. You swept me back into your arms and told me you needed me, that you love me, couldn't live without me. Till this day these memories float around my head like fish in the sea. Always there to stay. You give me reason to live. Thank you for coming back.

*** 11:11 ***

Make a wish cuttie! It's nearing midnight. I can smell a wooden fire from a fireplace in the neighborhood. The sun set hours ago and the stars are shining brightly above the clouds. My heart is pumping quickly. I usually make a wish at the time of 11:11 but tonight my mind was pre occupied with thought. You see a beautiful encounter took place tonight. I sang to him<3 a fine tune, he said, " Jennifer you truly do have a beautiful voice". He then led me through a cold wintery night into his warm cozy home. Magic happened and it was truly beautiful. I am always hopeful for it to bring us a bundle of joy. Maybe this time it will come true. I await morning at 11:11, to make my wish.
***

Going Green Baby

She dyes her long hair black. Paints her nails black. Drinks her coffee black. But dresses in baby pink and earth green. Rebeling against the Queen, she states her opinion clearly. She doesn't want to be so damn protected. There must be another way because she believes in taking chances. She is determined to save the animals and to make the earth a better place. She reads the paper in the morning and watches the news at night, disgusted by violence and hatrid in the world. She will continue to stand out of the crowd and stand her ground in order to fight for what she believes.

Contemplation.

I await my future impatiently. In a good way none the less. Day by day I still contemplate on a Career Path. I am pushing for Dental Assisting, but is that really a dream of mine? I have a love people, a love for animals, a love for writing, and a love for learning. My fiance always asks " dear why do you ask so many questions?" Personally I am a curious person. I tend to find myself oberserving every written piece I see. So does this mean I should be a reporter or even a journalist. Oh the possibilites. It wouldn't hurt to go after all my dreams. Yeah, I think that is the safest route for me. That way I will always be satisfied and not dragging along just one career.