Autumn leaves.

Summer has ended  and Fall has slivered its way through the Colorado mountains. The leaves have begun changing colors and the wind is a bit stronger. The sunset is earlier and the sunrise is later.  The animals are gathering twigs, branches, and all of natures offerings to endure a warm cozy home for Winters bitter cold snow. As the days go on I smile with the change because I am making amends in my life. As the season changes I feel the change in me as well. I prefer the warm sun, green grass, the animals roaming free, and the flowers blooming beautifully, but nonetheless the autumn change is just what I needed. I will strive to make the most of it. Late night study sessions, writing love letters to my soldier, plenty of coffee and baking in the kitchen, movie nights with my girls and plenty of talking, boots and cute winter jackets are a plus as well! Let's rejoice and be glad! There is a silver lining in every cloud and there is joy in every season.

My heart beat.

For so many years I believed I could never achieve my goals, but now I am graduating high school and my self esteem has rose. I have blossomed into a beautiful young woman and yes I am letting the world know it. Before I let people push me around and I had no belief that I would do well. I did a lot of stupid things, but I have learned from each one of them. I felt that my own family didn't believe in me. I looked up to all the wrong people in order to find myself. I dated the wrong men to feel loved. I abused my body. Till this day I feel that my own flesh & blood don't believe in me. It breaks my heart and always has, but the one thing that always keeps me going is God, my friends, my fiancee, some family, and my Grandmother Linda Sandoval who passed several years ago, but she lives still within my heart. I want to thank all of you who have believed in me and helped me become true to myself. You know who you are. From all my lessons learned I do believe I will graduate college with my  Master's in Mass Communication and that someday I will marry and be a wonderful wife & mother.

<3

Nature's finest.

As I walk across my front lawn I inhale oxygen and smile sweetly at the world around me. Such beauty and color is flowing around us. I can never capture it all in one viewing, the world is to great in size. So I stroll further down the path of Crestaloma Drive and admire the structured homes and the families that live happily in them. As I continue my journey I yonder towards the Regency park and ponder life's meaning and how we came about. I think about God, religion, and theory. Everything happens for a reason and so I have chosen to forgive and let go. Regret was only tormenting my spirit. With this my only hope is to achieve many great deeds and strive to bring peace on this planet Earth. Thoughts and thoughts flood through my cranium and I begin to feel overwhelmed, so i take a breather and look around me. I hear birds singing and I see the trees moving from the wind's cry. Nature's finest will be in your own opinion and perspective, but in my head it is beauty of life and how lucky we are to live.

I see the finger prints that you left on the entrance of my heart and I see the blood stains you left on the exit

I see the finger prints that you left on the entrance of my heart and I see the blood stains you left on the exit. I have a forgiving policy but, I do not give refunds on forgetting. My past is full of mistakes, but I see it as a learning experience. My reputation is one thing but, my character is what counts. Jen you are a slut and a coward. These are the names I have been called. I see those as just brands people label each other by. It is quite morose how our world can be so cruel. From such encounters I have grown and matured. My self-esteem is higher and my confidence has sky rocketed. I don't see violence as a way to solve problems. I personally have never fought another human being in my life and my intentions have always been good. God said, " love your neighbor". Truthfully their are several people on this planet earth that I don't get along with, but I see that there is no reason to harm them physically or emotionally. Silence tells the truth and being the sunflower in the field of weeds is what I am. I will bite my tongue when another speaks cold words to me. It will only go so far though as well. I hope to set a positive example for others. Peace be with you.

My favorite singer; Michelle Branch, her acoustic version of Sooner or Later.

Michelle Branch - "Sooner or Later" Live Acoustic

Michelle Branch | MySpace Music Videos

Summer Breeze.

I dance modestly along the Arkansas River, with my head held high, and my favorite song playing through my head phones. It is just me and my music swaying in nature. I see fresh water following along with a load roar. I see wildflowers and grass growing near by. It is such a delight. I could spend hours in this heavenly place. Ahh, how I miss those summer days.

Better days.

I've made my mistakes, I've hit rock bottom, I've stumbled upon many broken roads, but in the end I lifted my wings and flew again. It was harder than hell and tougher than stone, but I managed. People say I am a bad person, a slut, and a girl with no self esteem, but they are wrong. They don't know my life story or what I have been through. Only God can judge. I have built a wall with respect for my dignity and love for my heart. I am a changed young lady. I have lost many friends, but I have realized this was because I finally stood my ground and didn't let people walk over me like carpet. I can't please everyone, sorry. I have learned my lesson and I appreciate my friends who love, who understand, and are who helping me get through this. I know my past, I know my present, and I am looking forward to these better days.

Dancing among the stars.

    A pink summer dress, black ballerina flats, and my wedding ring is all I will need when I dance across the universe with you. I can see it perfectly. The sun and moon will shine brightly upon us and the stars will be our dance floor. Ecstasy will flow through our souls and happiness through our hearts, because love will only exist. When I am with you nothing else matters. You blow my mind and I am only focused on you. You are the drug I am addicted to. I can't hide it, I love you more than life itself. I would risk anything to fight for our love. I would take a bullet to save you. So let me sing to you sweetly and let's dance among the stars my darling!

2010 has finally arrived!

 Overall 2009 was a challenging year for me. I experienced heartache, pain, and suffering, but also experienced love. I met new people, traveled new places, read new books, but most importantly, I found my true inner self. I realized life is a precious gift and It shouldn't be wasted on fear. I overcame many fears and even rock climbed a 44 foot wall. Based on this experience I came to realize life is just like rock climbing, it gets tough in certain places, but if you overcome it, you will reach the top! I felt so moved by this! I now feel as long as I try I can pursue anything! I have gained a lot of self confidence and my goals are being pursued! I have control over my own life and I will longer tolerate being taken for granted. I give praise and thanks to my family, my fiance Alec Montelongo, my dear friends, and those who have helped me grow!