Connecting the dots.

You look into the mirror and see a face staring back at you. It mocks your every move. It could even talk back to you, if you tried.

I puzzle what I see looking back at me. I see beauty and caramel coated skin, but if I look deep within the soul I see pain and confusion. This girl has so much potential but she doesn't know which path to follow. In her mind she pictures herself in Manhattan, pursuing her dreams as a Journalist, drinking Chai, and reading great novels. She wants her significant other to love her just as much as she loves him. She wishes her mother hadn't forsaken her. She pursues a dream to change the world with her inner peace and dreams.  

My hero.

Garden of loyalty.

If I had my own world, it would be a place that is magical. Full of light and color. People would have wings. Violence would not exist. Happiness and joy would fill the hearts of the people. Fairies and mermaids would be common. Death would never be known. Heaven on earth this place would be. Where everything was living, not a weed in sight. Mother Nature would bring only light breezes, light rain, and light snow. Danger was not known. Animals were friends to the people. They were not a source of food. The people only ate fruits, vegetables, grains, fresh water, and milk from the cows. Life was simple and graceful.

Unspoken words.

Yeah, I am here. My heart is beating and my blood is racing. I can feel my thoughts overpowering my unspoken words. I dread time when I am alone. When I think and think. People say I am crazy, so I let them think what they want. Part of my believes I am, but honestly isn't there is a little crazy in us all? When I fully succeed in finding happiness it always draws backward and leads to emptiness. I know there is something missing. Pretty much a part of me is missing. Such as a lung, a heart, a kidney, something. I dig through my thoughts, run through the streets, sing out my lungs, but nothing. I want to scream! My hands are trembling, my cheeks are pale, and my heart is pounding. I need you, I need you, I simply need you!

This Way Video by Michelle Branch - MySpace Video

This Way Video by Michelle Branch - MySpace Video

Blueberry Pancakes

Sitting, waiting, wishing for the day to draw nearer. The autumn leaves fall with brillant color and the river still carries its fish with a lighter flow of water. Three more seasons I await. Coffee and blueberry pancakes are comforting during these short days. I wake up everything morning with a rich smile and modivation to do well in my classes. Learning keeps me going and my mind fresh. Graduation awaits me as well in three seasons. My wedding also awaits near in these three seasons. White dress, white flats, diamond ring, and the most handsome groom. As those three seasons draw nearer my hair will grow much longer, my mind will become richer with knowledge, and my plan will be set. Patience is the key virtue. Tick tock tick tock.

Rainbow fish flow through my vains.

Certain tastes, smells, feelings, and places bring back certain memories. Good and bad. Sometimes its an emotion you can't describe. Sometimes i dive into the sea in my head and find that memory that makes it difficult to breathe in my sea. My favorite place to ponder is in the tree with the mattress on it with its canopy rose curtains. God has given me the grace not to forget but to heal. I am stiched back up and my blood is flowing smoothly. The fish are alive again and I can breathe.

You gave me reason to live.

You told me you would never be back, that this would be for the best. I ran far far away. I cut deeper. I cried longer. I ate less. Became weak. I am ashamed of it all. I broke hearts with my broken pieces. I made love to men I barely knew. It's like my heart of gold turned to dust in a matter of days. All my morals slipped through my finger tips. Then you came back. You wrote, " I am sorry for everything. I hope he treats you well". I was dumbfounded. Speechless more like. I then wrote you, called you, talked to you, met up with you. You swept me back into your arms and told me you needed me, that you love me, couldn't live without me. Till this day these memories float around my head like fish in the sea. Always there to stay. You give me reason to live. Thank you for coming back.

*** 11:11 ***

Make a wish cuttie! It's nearing midnight. I can smell a wooden fire from a fireplace in the neighborhood. The sun set hours ago and the stars are shining brightly above the clouds. My heart is pumping quickly. I usually make a wish at the time of 11:11 but tonight my mind was pre occupied with thought. You see a beautiful encounter took place tonight. I sang to him<3 a fine tune, he said, " Jennifer you truly do have a beautiful voice". He then led me through a cold wintery night into his warm cozy home. Magic happened and it was truly beautiful. I am always hopeful for it to bring us a bundle of joy. Maybe this time it will come true. I await morning at 11:11, to make my wish.
***

Going Green Baby

She dyes her long hair black. Paints her nails black. Drinks her coffee black. But dresses in baby pink and earth green. Rebeling against the Queen, she states her opinion clearly. She doesn't want to be so damn protected. There must be another way because she believes in taking chances. She is determined to save the animals and to make the earth a better place. She reads the paper in the morning and watches the news at night, disgusted by violence and hatrid in the world. She will continue to stand out of the crowd and stand her ground in order to fight for what she believes.

Contemplation.

I await my future impatiently. In a good way none the less. Day by day I still contemplate on a Career Path. I am pushing for Dental Assisting, but is that really a dream of mine? I have a love people, a love for animals, a love for writing, and a love for learning. My fiance always asks " dear why do you ask so many questions?" Personally I am a curious person. I tend to find myself oberserving every written piece I see. So does this mean I should be a reporter or even a journalist. Oh the possibilites. It wouldn't hurt to go after all my dreams. Yeah, I think that is the safest route for me. That way I will always be satisfied and not dragging along just one career.

Sunflower painting.

I am in the hospital waiting for my brother, while he is in the M.R.I. I am sitting in the waiting room, observing the lovely painting in the corner of the room. In a wooden frame. A vase full of sunflowers, next to what looks like peaches. This painting brings color and meaning to the room. Life would be dull without art and color. I couldn't imagine a life differently. I feel so greatful to have eyes with visiion. Sometimes I think we all take advantage of our blessings. Let's begin to count them and be greatful for what we have, shall we?

Puckering my lips and Shaking my hips.

Dancing all night to the hypnotic tunes. I pucker my lips and shake my hips. His hands on my sides and I am movin to beat. The air is getting humid, by each and every breathe. He pulls me in closer, kisses my neck leaving the mark of a Leper. My eyes get hazy and my knees begin to tremble. Slowly yet forcefully I resist. I just want to pucker my lips and shake my hips darling.

Drinking coffee and eating bagels.

Went to the local coffee shop downtown this afternoon with my husband. We ordered coffee and a honey wheat bagel. We sat ourselves at out usual table. The clock said 4:40. Time to go. The store is closing and rain is overlooking the city. He grabbed my hand as I sipped the coffee. Coffee brings back lovely memories. Pondering this, I recall only sharing coffee with only 3 men in my lifetime. This was going to be the last man I will ever share my coffee with and I am completly okay with that. We drove off into the city, hand in hand, drinking our coffee and eating our bagel.

Trust

Whenever I am down, you bring me right back up. You kiss my hand and say everything is ok. You put me inside your arms and tell me how much you love me. That I am the only girl for you. Everytime I am afraid you know just what to say. Day by day my trust in you is growing. Please keep this promise my love.

Glass slippers.

She paces back and forth in her colorful bedroom. Listening to the crickets chirp , and ponders the future. She is blind to it, but can imagine it in her head. A hand full of roses, a stomach full of butterflies, and a pair of glass slippers being worn. A church full of people, and a gorgeous man wearing a tux at the altar smiling. She is expecting her father to let go.She awaits a beautiful event. Hearing a sudden knock at the door, she shudders and answers, ''yes?''
Her mother responds and greets her with a smile. Comforted by her mother, she texts her fiance, and types I love you.

Beneath these spanish eyes

I live, I breathe, I love, and I dream. I live for God. I breathe for survival. I love my life. I dream for peace. Beneath these spanish eyes Is a living breathing 18 year old. I used to care what others thought of me. I used to obsess on pleasing my fellow friends, but I finally realized that it was indeed ridiculous. I wasn't myself. I wasn't me. I wasn't Jennifer. So with pondering that, I finally put my fears aside and stood my ground. I opened up. I have to say it was a beautiful beginning. Beneath these spanish eyes is a strong heart and a beautiful soul.

Red Rose

I lay in bed sick. Unsure of the illness, nonetheless. Coughing with a slight fever. Laying here I listen to my playlist. Relaxing and enjoying the sweet sound of music. I feel the air slightly through my window, I can see it, I can see it, I swear. Only through the Red Rose canopy. My heart is pounding regulary and my eyes are blinking the same. In that case, why does my mother insist on giving me so much medication. For I only desire natural remedies from Organic stores. However I do appriciate her concern. Earlier my sweetheart brought me soup, bread, and Sunny D. He is quite the generous fellow. I gave him a few pecks on his lips, but was cautious , not intending to give my illness. He knows how to light up my world. I feel blessed to have such a caring fiance. God I give you many thanks for my sweetheart and my loving family. I should fall asleep soon with the breeze blowing gently on the Red Rose Canopy.

I give you all the credit.

Lying in bed, gazing at the world beyond my window, I smile knowing happiness has found me. I give him all the credit and all the praise. My sweet dear Jesus has filled our hearts with the gift of love. It started out as a crush, formed into love, followed by marriage. It's a simple taste of heaven. Beautiful and pure. No great or little amount of money could ever bring eternal happiness to a person. Love and peace are the ingredients to happiness in my recipe book.

Silver ring.

Round and a size 6. Such meaning and beauty hold within this silver ring. I received it in a red Alero in the month of a August. Exchanged smiles and hugs were given. He held up my hand and made a lifetime commitment. Never had I felt more jubilant. "Am I worthy of thee", I thought. For we have been through such troubling times. For we are unstopable and can achieve anything. I will not let insecurity decieve me. For he is my soul mate. Blush blush blush. (-:

Different than most girls.

Yes I drink my coffee black, and yes I have an obession for vintage/retro purses. (-:

What I call down right good music, most people call quite odd.

I love long walks in nature.

I enjoy writing and reading. I spend half my time contemplating blogs.

I also enjoy meditating. Finding my inner self and gaining peace in my soul is a joy.

I live up to certain standards and values. I support the organization Peta , as well as "Go Green!".

I am a Christian who loves Jesus Christ more than anything there is.

I am Independent when it comes to Politics. I go for the issues at hand rather than just based off whom the Politician is.

Commitment is a quality I have. As a matter of fact, I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I have been dating for two and a half years. (-: Love is such a blessing.

I am working my way to become a Vegetarian. There is a lovely local restaurant in my town called, Wireworks Coffee House that I attend quite often that serves great coffee, tea, vegetarian entrees, and pastries that is a great help for my goal.

My reasoning behind becoming a Vegetarian is because I love animals. I have a 5 year old beagle named Penny, who I adore and care for dearly. In my sincere opinion I believe all animals should be treated with dignity and respect.

Live life to your fullest. Live up to your dreams. Live honestly.

Child of mine.

I cannot hold you. I cannot feel your heartbeat. I cannot see you smile, but I love you. Someday when the time is right, you will be here. Your Daddy loves you just as much as I do. I can hardly wait for the day you are born. I will protect and teach you everything I know. I will not fail to be a good mother. Boy or girl, my love will be unconditional.

Dragonfly

It caught my attention, that dragonfly. Its bright color, a shade of pink. It had a soul mate, which was a shade of blue. The blue dragonfly followed the pink dragonfly along the river and onto a rock. Both innocent and full of life. Looking at the two, reminded me of you. You and I as a matter of fact. You know who you are darling. You are in love with me, and I am deeply in love with you.

Never Fear God is Near.

The beauty of the world appears to me in countless ways. Through these spanish eyes and purple framed glasses I see Mother Nature's treasures. Life in general is precious and it should never be taken for granted. God is speaking to each and everyone of us in a unique way. Open your eyes my friends. See the beauty of life around you. Love others. Spread peace. Nuture the planet and make a difference. God's love is never ending so never fear.

Reunited and it feels so good.

As the Indie boy parks his red Alero, he contemplates on what to say. He waits patiently in the lot. He can feel his heart beating ten times faster. He ponders on all of the lovely memories of what they have shared. He suddenly see's her aprouching the Regency Square. He opens the door and walks toward her with a brilliant smile.

As the girl with the long brown hair, twines her fingers together out of nervousness, she can't help but feel her heart leaping for joy. She as well ponders on all the lovely memories of what they have shared. She lifts up her head ,batts her eyelashes .and lets out a cry of happiness.

"This was to good to be true", both thought. They held eachother for quite some time letting tears run down their cheeks of amazement. He then took her by the hand led her into the red Alero and the drove off to begin there new journey.

Change of Heart.

Teardrops run down my cheek as I realize all of my mistakes.I can't help but feel as if i have failed time and time again.But then I remember you learn from your mistakes.People may say distasteful words towards me, but I say ''I don't give a dam''.I'am recovering as well as healing my heart & soul.I'am striving to achieve all my goals.If my friends are true they will support me, if differently it's okay people have their own mind, own opinions, and own beliefs. They should be true to what they stand for.I'am ''only me'' and I don't intend of being anything but ''me''.My sincere apoligies to the ones I have hurt in my past and I hope someday you could forgive the girl who was lost and broken.Live life to your fullest and love others who love you.I appriciate those who have read this meaningful writing of mine. It means so much to me having my boyfriend Alec and my dearest friends by my side.Much love♥

Truth Be Told.

We all begin a new chapter with good intentions, but it sure isn't easy. I have made plenty of mistakes in my past but feel blessed knowing I have a lifetime ahead of me to make a difference. For we are not promised tomorrow but I guarantee the sun will rise and will set. Truth be told I fear change and it's mysteries, but I have to bite the bullet.